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Who's Gettin' Shittied?
Updated: September 13, 2021 - 1:30:29 am

Here are some predictions by me as to who will get drafted in the Shitty Draft and Franchised. I'm not good at predicting things so take it with a grain of salt!

Franchise Predictions

  • ATL - This is the year for this stacked squad. The only major losses this offseason were on the OL. Do they pay the bucks to keep their anchor Ali Marpet? Nah, he's an OL, no tag.
  • CHI - Brady is still chugging along so anything is possible with this team. The breakout weapon for the Bears this offseason is clearly Darren Waller. He didn't do much last season in Flo's offense but he is now one of the best TE in the game. Will Flo pay the price? Sure, Darren Waller tagged.
  • CIN - This team has two excellent choices for franchising: Dalvin Cook (4th best Madden RB) and Jalen Ramsey (best Madden CB). Those ratings will be outstanding. Either will be worth the fee. I predict Dalvin is tagged.
  • DAL - Dallas had a major weak spot last season: the secondary. The franchise tag won't help but they do hold the rights to the top OL in a very loaded FA class in terms of blockers. No tag.
  • DEN - The returning roster isn't what you would call inspiring. Rivers retirement leaves a major hole and DEN might be better off using their funds in a very weak QB class. They could turn into a mauling machine if they consider Lane Johnson with the tag. Interesting offseason ahead for BMR. No tag.
  • MIA - The strength of this team last season was the defensive talent. Eric Kendricks is an interesting franchise option, but even moreso are JJ Watt and Nick Bosa. Kendricks is the best FA LB but Watt is godly. What was I thinking even mentioning any option other than Watt? JJ Watt tagged. EDIT: Josh Allen is a FA also! I think he's borderline taggable. Yeah, Josh Allen is tagged.
  • N.O - The juggernaut made the most of their championship window. With Brees gone, they need to save for the eventual Mahomes bidding war next offseason. I wouldn't burn a tag on any of their FAs. No tag.
  • NYG - This barebones roster doesn't have a good franchise option at all. This actually seeems like one of the harder projects in the league. At least JP has Justin Tucker! No franchise.
  • NYJ - Unlike their neighbors, the Jets have primo options for franchise. Amari Cooper, Joey Bosa and Deshaun Watson are all excellent choices. I think they go with Bosa, because he's a LB again in Madden, giving him lots more versatility.
  • OAK - This blank slate of a roster doesn't have any A-tier FAs for franchise, but they really don't have to be with the cap exploding this season. Deion Jones and Calvin Ridley are interesting options. I will predict Ridley as the WR class is pretty weak.
  • PIT - The obivious choice to me is the Honey Badger, but depending on what settles out with Kirk 'Covid' Cousins, he could be the pick. He won't be a superstar, but he will ge good enough. That's definitely exploring as a trade option since he has Kyler. I'll go with Mathieu for simplicity of prediction.
  • T.B - Aaron Rogers, duh. Demario Davis if you like gambling (and losing). Rogers is my pick.

Shitty Draft Predictions

  • T.B - I have a feeling I won't pass on Dalvin. HOWEVER I do have CMC. But for prediction sake, CIN will keep Dalvin and T.B will bolster an already strong secondary with Jalen Ramsey.
  • NYJ - This team needs defenders and there are some good options. I think JJ Watt's ratings are too good to pass up. I dunno, I'm terrible at Tecmo, that might not be a good pick. Sorry, Chesty.
  • CIN - Is Deshaun Watson in play here? Gonna have to sleep on a Lamar trade or cut. This is very tempting. Yeah. Deshaun.
  • NYG - This team desperately needs to fix their OL since the rest of the team has some useful parts (no stars though, but still). Do you spend $5M on an OL though? I want to go Bakhtiari here but that seems wasteful. LB Eric Kendricks is my choice.

Week 5 Schedule
ATL(2-1-0)
DAL(3-0-0)
CHI(4-0-0)
N.O(2-0-0)
CIN(0-3-0)
MIA(0-4-0)
DEN(4-0-0)
PIT(2-2-0)
NYJ31
NYG21
Box Score
T.B(1-2-0)
OAK(3-1-0)
'Most Recent Game' - Week 4 Matchup
Tampa Bay BuccaneersNew York Jets

Kareem Hunt
RB - NYJ

242 rush yds, 3 rush TD
0 rec, 0 rec yds, 0 rec TD

Derrick Henry
RB - T.B

132 rush yds, 2 rush TD
2 rec, 17 rec yds, 0 rec TD

Deandre Hopkins
WR - T.B

122 rec yards, 2 rec TD
3 Stars

GREEN BAY - The Tampa Bay Buccaneers defended their turf and came away with a 31-28 victory over the New York Jets. This game was not worth the trip from New York for ChestyPuller's team as they were narrowly edged by 3.

Dj Gatorshark has to be happy with the way his team played. They played hard and just made a few more plays than Gang Green. The yardage totals for the teams was 320 for the the Bucs and 282 for the New York Jets. The fans appreciate a win like this.

Final Score: T.B 31, NYJ 28

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    DEN40
    CHI40
    DAL30
    OAK31
    N.O20
    ATL21
    PIT22
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    NYJ14
    CIN03
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